{"title":"Culture \u0026 Snacks","description":"\u003cp\u003eFry sauce, dirty soda, green jello, Provo and the MTC — faith culture, lovingly roasted.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"your-mom-is-an-8-cow","title":"Johnny Lingo | Your Mom Is An 8-Cow","description":"\u003ch2\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYour Mom Is an 8-Cow — The Johnny Lingo Shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eLet’s be honest: \u003cstrong\u003e“Your Mom Is an 8-Cow”\u003c\/strong\u003e is not the kind of sentence you expect to see on a T-shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd that's exactly why we made it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInspired by the legendary \u003cem\u003eJohnny Lingo\u003c\/em\u003e story, this shirt celebrates the most famous bovine-based compliment in cinematic history. Forget roses. Forget diamonds. Forget a dozen chocolates.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEight cows.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIf you've seen \u003cem\u003eJohnny Lingo\u003c\/em\u003e, you know the story. Johnny doesn't just show up with a few cows and call it good. He offers \u003cstrong\u003eeight cows\u003c\/strong\u003e for Mahana—the kind of bride price that makes everyone stop, stare, and wonder if the man has completely lost his mind.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut Johnny knows something everyone else doesn't.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMahana is an eight-cow woman.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd that's where the joke gets even better.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWe took that unforgettable idea and gave it the WeakThings.com treatment. The result is a \u003cstrong\u003eJohnny Lingo T-shirt\u003c\/strong\u003e that combines tropical island vibes, eight cows standing proudly in formation, vintage Western typography, and enough swagger to make your mother-in-law nervous.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe shirt simply says:\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYOUR MOM IS AN 8-COW\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNo explanation.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNo footnotes.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNo agricultural appraisal required.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eJust eight cows.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt's the perfect \u003cstrong\u003eLDS T-shirt for Johnny Lingo fans\u003c\/strong\u003e, especially those who grew up watching the classic film and have spent years wondering whether their own mother, wife, girlfriend, sister, or favorite Relief Society president would command a six-cow, seven-cow, or full eight-cow valuation.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eObviously, we're not actually suggesting you try to purchase a wife with livestock.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePlease don't do that.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWe're just saying that if you \u003cem\u003edid\u003c\/em\u003e, you should probably aim high.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe design is also a perfect example of what we love about \u003cstrong\u003eWeakThings.com\u003c\/strong\u003e. 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