Ready Always / Everyday questions / Dating & relationships

Why can’t you date until you’re 16?

1

The hallway answer

About 15 seconds

“My church suggests waiting until about 16 for one-on-one dates, and keeping it to group stuff before that. It actually takes a lot of pressure off. We do a ton of group things anyway.”

Then ask them: What’s something fun your friends do as a group?
I want the real answer ↓
2

The real answer

About 5 minutes

For the Strength of Youth answers this directly: “The best way to get to know others is through genuine friendship.” For “emotional and spiritual development and safety,” it asks youth to postpone one-on-one activities until they’re mature, and says “age 16 is a good guideline.” It also says to “save exclusive relationships for when you are older.”

The idea isn’t that dating is bad. It’s that the early teen years are a great time to have many friends, and that serious relationships too early can bring pressure people aren’t ready for. Group dates, dances and activities let you get to know lots of people.

Note the wording: it’s a guideline, and families counsel together about it. You can explain it as something you agree with, not just a rule handed to you.

Scriptures to know. Tap to read.

Ecclesiastes 3:1“To every thing there is a season”
1To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: Read in Old Testament, Connected →
Alma 37:36Counsel with the Lord in all your doings
36Yea, and cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever. Read in Book of Mormon, Connected →
3

Go deeper

Research room

What’s behind the question

At school, dating can feel like a big part of social life. A friend asking this may be confused, or may feel you’re missing out.

OfficialFor the Strength of Youth: Love God, love your neighbor ↗OfficialTopics and Questions: Chastity ↗How dating standards connect to the law of chastity

Source labels: Official = published by the Church. Scripture = the standard works. Faithful scholarship = independent Latter-day Saint researchers. Helpful, but not official.

4

For me

Think it through
  1. What kinds of friendships do I want to build right now?
  2. How does waiting protect things that matter to me later?
  3. Who in my family can I talk to about dating openly?
Act in faithWhat do I already know and believe here?
Eternal perspectiveHow does God’s plan change how I see this?
Good sourcesWho could I ask: a parent, a leader, the scriptures?

Notes stay on this page while it’s open and aren’t saved or sent anywhere.

5

Practice this one

Pick a reply

Friends also ask

So you’re really waiting until you’re married?Why do you dress like that? Aren’t you hot?

Weak Things is an independent site, not an official website of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Answers are written to match the Church’s published teachings, and every answer links to its sources.

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